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parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

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The city is as sleepy as a folk ballad. Maybe that is because of the heat. Or maybe it’s because Kutaisi isn’t the capital anymore. The last time it played that role was 900 years ago. There is a monastery called Gelati on a hill nearby. It was built during a time when Kutaisi was […]


the hills that I once walked through

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Going from Tbilisi to Kutaisi by train takes four hours. It’s a modern train. There is a small tv screen in every carriage, but it’s not switched on. I sit across from two young men with soft, handsome faces and beard stubble. Both are wearing earphones, both are looking at their phones. Next to us, […]


splashdown

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It’s not you: It’s the things that are floating around in the blood, clouding the soul. The anxiety. The fear. The darkness. To them I’d like to quote Gagarin: “The path of a cosmonaut is not an easy, triumphant march to glory. You have to get to know the meaning not just of joy but […]


additional information about my balls

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I bought a set of four tennis balls. Three of them are totally new and clean, because they stay at home in their base, while the fourth one is a bit dirty from accompanying me when I go outside for my little space walks. I like that ball very much: And I found myself wondering […]


having a ball

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Every morning I go out for a little walk, up here in space. Of course I need to put on a space suit and gravity boots and leave the space station first, but that’s okay. I walk the exact same distance every morning, 4.5 kilometers. There’s a family of Canada geese, or space geese, around […]


prints from Iran

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Those of you who have ordered their TLW prints, shirts, mugs, or popsockets – I hope they bring you joy. My long-time editor sent me a picture of the green TLW pixel travel mug he got, saying he loved it and that the lid wasn’t a completely tight fit but that this wasn’t really a […]


prints from Turkmenistan

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Bradley Nowell used to smoke two joints in the morning. I eat two bananas. And I make tea. There’s a glass pot in which I brew it, and then there’s a thermos from which I add hot water. Thus is the Persian way. Or that of the Azeri. I used to be into green or […]


prints from Tajikistan

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It took me a while to figure out whether I wanted to make these photos available here or not. After all they were from Tajikistan, a country that I had never walked through, having spent a week there while waiting for my Turkmen visa in the summer of 2017. So was Tajikistan part of The […]


fabulous theropods

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Just wanted to let you know that I’m not alone up here. These two are with me: They wish it to be known that they probably had lips to cover their teeth. And, being basically very large (and very dangerous) ostriches, they probably also had feathers. They had them not in order to be able […]


The Longest PopSocket

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I just got done with Game Of Thrones. My verdict: watching GOT is like having sex with a very attractive (and rather kinky) person who gets tired about half-way through and ends up denying you an orgasm. But seriously, it was awesome for about four seasons, then it started to slump (yet it still had […]


prints from Uzbekistan

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Space is nice. The only thing that’s been a little bit difficult is the breathing. There is just not that much air in the cosmos. And so I am up here, floating. Meanwhile, the Uzbekistan album is online: I spent 102 days walking through Uzbekistan, from Tashkent on December 14th 2016 to the time I […]


prints from Kyrgyzstan

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People have been asking when I will return from space. The answer is: I don’t know. What I do know is that the Kyrgyzstan album just went online: I didn’t spend much time walking through this country – a mere 9 days and 130km. But I went there a few other times before and after […]


prints from Kazakhstan

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I’ve been adding stuff to the page where you can get prints from The Longest Way: As of now, the albums from China and Kazakhstan are both online. 5510km through China, 1180km through Kazakhstan: Sometimes it’s hard to believe. That it ever even happened.


cherish the love, fucker

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I voted. The process was easy-peasy: I electronically applied for postal voting, upon which I received my ballot papers in space, then I filled them out and mailed them back to earth. I finally voted. It made me feel particularly good this time since I had missed two earlier votes. One time, while I was […]


thirty million

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Something interesting is happening. A few days ago, I noticed an uptick in the comments I received on YouTube. The weird beard video was bringing in more views than usual, and, judging from the comments, many of them were due to YouTube’s internal recommendations: someone would be watching something, and then the system would automatically […]


The Longest Prints

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The other day I witnessed a drone crashing on the moon. There was no sound and no explosion, just a slow descent and then something that looked like it would make a thud, only it didn’t. That’s the type of shit that happens up here, in space. On a side note, I am going to […]


The Longest Pixel Mug

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Space. There are no frontiers up here, there is only silence. Or maybe it’s “down” here, however you want to look at it. Up can be down, and that which is big can look just like that which is small. A black hole winks at us, and a molecule winks back. Castor and Pollux, one […]


The Longest Pixel Shirt

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Before you ask: Yes, I am still in space. The vacuum is very pleasant up here. It is endlessly quiet. Sometimes I get a bit of stardust in my eye. I’ve been trying to design some merch for TLW for a while now. It’s been almost exactly 10 years since I uploaded the original weird […]


sitting in my tin can

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As you can see from my location I am currently far above the moon. I am still not quite sure what happened. Maybe I’ll tell you one day. Can you hear me?


it’s embarrassing to like Bukowski, but I do

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I remember I was fifteen when I heard about Charles Bukowski for the first time. It was a group of older boys who told me to check out this writer who was super obscene and controversial. Apparently those who were familiar with his work called him “Hank”, and reading it was supposed to be life-changing. […]