egg stealer

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This post is about a 20km walk from Bergkirchen to Unterumbach. I hang out with Hilde the cat, then I walk over to my friend’s house.

The night before, when I arrived at the small village of Bergkirchen, the sky looked like wind and rain. So I rang the bell of a farm house and asked if they had an overhanging roof under which I could pitch my tent.

They looked at me as if I was a snake oil salesman.

morning with Hilde

So I went to a different farm and rang the bell. Ina and her family were about to have dinner. “Come in and eat!” they said. After dinner, they showed me a nice camping spot in front of a barn. It had a massive overhanging roof, and it belonged to a farmer called Andreas.

The night was calm until about twelve. Ina’s cat Hilde had come out to visit, and she was sleeping next to my tent. But then the wind rose and brought the rain. It got so bad that it lifted up a part of the tent. So I cursed and moved the tent and the Caboose and the chair and all of my things into the barn. Hilde was hiding in the barn as well, and when I woke up in the morning she was still there.

It was awesome.

the scandal

The way to Unterumbach was quiet. One time I walked past a self-service egg vending booth. There was a notice written on a black board in front of it:

HEY DU EIERSTEHLER!! – Hey you egg stealer!!

GEH DOCH IN DEN SUPERMARKT UND KAUF DIR DA DEINE EIER, WENN SIE DIR HIER ZU TEUER SIND!! – Why don’t you go to the supermarket and buy your eggs there if they are too expensive for you here!!

IN DEM DU DIE EIER HIER STIEHLST, UNTERSTรœTZT DU NICHT DIE ARTGERECHTE HรœHNER HALTUNG!! – When you’re stealing the eggs here you are not supporting farm animal welfare for the chickens!!

DIE FINGER SOLLEN DIR ABFAULEN DU GRATLER!! – May your fingers rot off, you bum!!


I took my lunch break next to a church in Ebertshausen. It was very windy, but the sky was blue and the sunflowers were in bloom in large fields next to the road. I thought of China in 2012, and I thought of Romania in 2022.

And then, just like that, I arrived at the home of my childhood friend Bower.

Hey fatso, I said.

“What’s up, dumbass,” heย replied.


the walk from Bergkirchen to Unterumbach:

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