dicks out for Bavaria

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This post is about a 25km walk from Braunau am Inn to Burghausen. I enter Germany, but there is only a penis and a sign saying Bavaria.

I spent a quiet day in Braunau. Then, on the second morning, I gathered my stuff and started walking.

how to leave Braunau

First there was the question of how to get out of the city. Braunau sat on a natural platform that was about 10m higher than the river, and the only way down to the bike path was a long set of stairs.

I didn’t want to take the stairs with the Caboose, so I ended up taking a detour that involved a dark and somewhat grimy-looking underpass. But I got there.

river, forest, deadly flowers

I walked along the river for a while. Then the bike path went up into the forest and merged with a road. Or rather: it was swallowed up by the road. The “bike path” at this point was a mere line on the asphalt that cars were not supposed to cross. On top of that everyone drove very fast. It was a bit of a shit show.

When I noticed that there was a forest trail that led the same way, I took it. There were lots and lots of mosquitos, but that was okay. One time I picked a flower and only later learned that it was very poisonous, but that was okay, too. I washed my hands and threw the flower away.

the penis

And then, after getting a bit lost on the way, I finally arrived at a bridge that led from Austria to Germany. There was a vending machine on this end of the bridge. I bought one last bottle of Almdudler and drank it right then and there. It was cold and sweet and kinda sticky. Then I walked to the middle of the bridge.

There was a statue of a naked man with wings attached to his arms. Icarus, it said on a sign next to it. It didn’t seem to be about the wings, though, or about the guy’s face. When you stood next to the statue you had to bend your neck to look up at it, and the first thing you saw was Icarus’ penis with a bulgy scrotum under it.

the free state

I liked the idea of being welcomed in Germany by a set of dick and balls. What I didn’t like, though, was that there wasn’t a sign that said that I was in Germany. No sign. Not even a banner of the European Union. And no German flag, either.

The only thing that was there, at the other end of the bridge, was the coat of arms of Burghausen and on top of it a sign saying FREISTAAT BAYERN – Free State of Bavaria.

Servas, I thought, servas you weirdos.


the walk from Braunau am Inn to Burghausen:

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