Paul says: constipation is bliss

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I have this friend I was going to tell you about: I can’t reveal his name though. So let’s just call him Paul.

Paul is also walking through China, and today he arrived at a park in Linze 临泽:

Western Army Memorial Park

It was the Western Army Memorial Park 中国红西路军烈土陵园:

Western Army Memorial

Just as Paul was walking through all the honor and the glory, he suddenly felt that something wasn’t exactly right with his bowels.

In fact, it didn’t feel right at all!

He locked his caboose (he has one as well), and then he ran into the men’s room.

A while later when he came out again, Paul was thinking: should I stay or should I go?

He felt that it might be a pretty good idea to just get a hotel room here in Linze, god forbid the strange bowel movements might return.

Paul strolled across the central square:

Linze

He came by a statue of Laozi 老子 riding his bull into the West:

statue of Laozi

There’s something you should know about Paul: he is a man who is not very likely to stick to his decisions. Besides, he gets easily impressed.

So when he passed by the huge and tasty-looking watermelons that Liu Peng 刘鹏 had to offer…

Liu Peng gave me a nice seedless watermelon

…Paul forgot all about his intestinal problems, smiled and raised his voice to an outcry: “Give me the biggest watermelon you can find!”

Then he hauled at his caboose and continued walking west, looking only for a place to devour his precious purchase.

All the different landscapes looked so interesting to our dear Paul!

There were forestry areas that seemed to glisten with fertility:

pure green

…and there were the rough and arid stretches of the Gobi desert in the South:

Gobi

Paul noticed that there were many people selling things next to the road:

red dates

He didn’t buy anything though, since he only pleasantly anticipated the cool juicy redness of his watermelon.

Then he suddenly found a good place to sit down:

canal

He stretched his back, got a knife and a spoon and started the feast.

Here’s a video of Paul and his watermelon:

(Note the beard – Paul is growing one too!)

The rest of the way seemed all too easy.

He came through settlements by the road that were made up of little houses that seemed totally identical:

new houses

One time, there were all these sunflowers, standing tall and radiating with yellowness and summer:

sunflowers

Paul suddenly thought of the time when he had been in kindergarten…

It seemed like ages ago, but still there was this distinct feeling that the words sunflowers and kindergarten would always remain connected, inseparably tied together like Christmas and ginger bread, like swim trunks and the Mediterranean Sea, like Beijing and lamb sticks.

…so there he was, our dear Paul, staring at the sunflowers, absorbed in a sort of proustian reminiscence of his earliest childhood:

sunflower fields

Then he suddenly felt his bowels again. Oh no! – the urge was back, and it was more violent than ever!

Paul looked around like a wounded animal, thinking: damn that melon!

There was really nowhere good to go, and the urge was getting stronger and stronger. It seemed like an exploding force that was ready to tear the whole world apart.

And nowhere good to go…

“Aaarrrrrrgggghhh!!” Paul cried, and he wanted to make it sound like a battlecry.

Then he leaped into the bushes.



  • Ananda_Gua

    I am going to leave Guangzhou next Monday,My cell phone have not enough money!:(

    Reply

  • Penny

    Poor Chris, take care, but I wish the watermelon at least tastes good…

    Reply

  • redbullet

    envy your interesting journey! is it expensive to finishe so long a travel,who support your travel?

    Reply

  • Hermann

    nun, es war einmal ein Reisender in Indien, der – ähnlich wie Paul – diesen durch nur durch tiefste Konzentration und Kontraktion aufhaltbaren Drang verspürte, sich aber nicht – und da unterscheidet er sich von Paul – in freier Natur befand, sondern in einem Überlandbus in Indien.
    Weit und breit keine Haltestelle. Paul hielt es beim Anblick der Sonnenblumen nicht länger, unserem Reisenden ging es bei der soundsovielten Bodenwelle wie ihm, aber noch immer war da keine Haltestelle. Zum Glück aber saß unser Reisender hinten, der Bus hatte, wie viele Busse zu jener Zeit, keine Fenster am Heck, und es gab dort eine Leiter. Auf die kletterte er, gesichert von Freunden, und ließ dort unter und hinter sich, was Paul in den Sonnenblumen am Rande der Wüste Gobi unter sich ließ.

    Reply

  • rubi

    da musste ich doch glatt an ein lied der lokalmatadore denken. "n dicken haufen…" – und so.

    Reply

  • Becci

    armer paul und armer reisender den hermann kennt… grüße an beide! 🙂
    ich hoffe es geht paul jetzt endlich besser und er lernt draus und isst das nächste mal nich noch eine wassermelone dazu. aber tröste dich, ich kenne auch eine, linda, die hat letzte woche nach einer pizza schlimm brechen müssen. sehr blöd sowas! gut dass mir sowas nie passiert! 😉

    Reply

  • Lilu

    Haha, ist das ein frühes Zeichen von Persönlichkeitsspaltung aufgrund Deines einsamen Weges?!

    Reply

  • 刘鹏

    雷克。觉得那西瓜好吃么!我的照片能在你的博客里看到。我感到很荣幸““`

    Reply

  • Achille

    very funny,man. good story though.
    hope ur bowels will get better. actually people know that kind of explosive feeling when u urgently need a toilet ..i have confronted of that several times and the feeling is absolutely not good.

    Reply

  • dein Elefant

    Mir gefallen auf jeden fall die fotos mit den sonnenblumen sehr. Blumen sind schön……

    Reply

  • Christoph

    Ananda_Gua: …home to Hunan or Kunming? Will you miss Guangzhou?
    Penny: The watermelon was the BEST!
    redbullet: It's okay as long as I try to do things according to the plan. I support myself on this one. BTW: Thanks also for your comments on my panoramio – and welcome to the way!
    Hermann: Ja, dieser Reisende ist in der Tat noch ärmer dran als Paul!
    rubi: Haufen?? Hahahaha…
    Becci: Armer Paul, arme Linda, armer Reisender den Hermann kennt! 😉
    Lilu: Einsam? Paul und ich sind doch nicht einsam! (ehrlich gesagt nervt der manchmal ganz schön ab mit seinem Geschmatze beim Essen…)
    刘鹏: 啊,是你哈!那个西瓜真的太好吃了,我就把整个西瓜马上吃掉了,结果肚子不舒服,呜呜呜呜,真活该
    Achille: Oh well, that kind of feeling adds to the speed of life!
    mein Elefant: 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Reply

  • Florian (Flo Li Anh)

    Denk an die Kohlekompretten 😉

    Reply

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