when pigeons cry

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Went to the city today, and when I did, I noticed this greedy little fucker strutting around on the ground, and I said:


Sup, stupid pigeon!

To which the pigeon replied: “Well, well, well, look who’s talking with your lame-ass shoes!”

Only it didn’t happen this way. I didn’t say anything. The pigeon didn’t, either. And the thought that was in my head wasn’t in English, anyway. Instead I thought something along the lines of: “na, du dumme Taube” which can either mean “hey, you stupid pigeon” or “hey, you stupid dove”.

That’s right, the Germany language has only one word for both the pigeon and the dove: we call it a Taube.

Why does the English language have two words, then? I don’t know. But it seems as though the way most people use them is that if you’re a white pigeon, then you’re a dove and people think you’re awesome and that you’re innocent and you symbolize peace. But if you happen to be a grey dove, then they think you’re really a pigeon and that you should be considered nothing but a flying rodent.

Isn’t that weird?

I figured that I should do something about my own dovishness as well, so I went to my dermatologist, and I put on these protective shades:

cosmetic laser

Then she pointed a laser at my face:



A dove is born.

  • Jan

    The french also have two words “Pigeon” and “Colombe” (the latter is the supposedly). Just a few weeks back I asked myslef the german word for colombe, just to find out that it also Taube..


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